Chip

I miss you Chip. You were the best friend and companion a girl could have asked for. We found out Wednesday, May 23 that you were paralyzed from your 5th vertebrae down. You had been in pain for a week before that and started screaming in pain on Saturday night. We rushed you to the emergency vet clinic and they gave you a shot and sent us home. I prayed so hard for God to heal you because I wasn't ready to give you up yet. We took you back on Sunday night, and they decided to keep you so they could give you pain and muscle relaxer shots all night. I cried and prayed all night, then I realized I was praying wrong. So I gave you to God, then I felt a sort of peace. I picked you up Monday morning and took you starlight to our vet. She told me that it looked promising that she could fix you. She kept you until Wednesday when she did another examination on you. She called mom with the bad news. Dad rushed home to tell me. I knew as soon as I saw him that it wasn't good. I went down and saw you one last time. You laid your head on my chest and just loved on me. I told you how much I loved you and was gonna miss you. I just hugged you, and cuddled you one last time. I smelled you, and rubbed your fur. Looked into your expressive eyes and I knew you were done. You were tired and didn't want to hurt anymore. Dad was with me and he told you the same thing. I was proud of myself for not breaking down in front of you. I knew I had to stay strong for you. We told the vet that we knew what had to be done, we just didn't want to know the exact time.

We brought your body home on Thursday and buried you. I still miss you every single day. I have your collar around my rear view mirror so I have a daily reminder of you.

Chip, you were my best friend for almost 9 years and I will miss you every single day of my life. I love you little buddy.

Depression

I found this on another blog and had to post it because it just seems to fit my life to a T

Let me introduce you to my best friend.

His/her name is Nobody. Nobody tends to always be there, reminding me He/She is there. Nobody really enjoys my company. He/She tags along with everything I do. It is really weird, Nobody knows my thoughts. It is like when I am having a bad day, Nobody knows instantaneously I need a shoulder to cry on. Nobody completely understands everything I deal with. When I am going through on of those days, Nobody just listens. Nobody is so great He/She will walk around the grocery store with me, just to get me out of the house. He/She absolutely loves following me around. Even when I do not want Nobody there, do not even fret...Nobody always finds His/Her way to my side. Nobody reminds me every day about the love He/She feels for me. Nobody wants to make sure I know there is something worth waking up to each day. Nobody is so sweet, He/She even sends me "Sweet dream" texts around bedtime. Every day, I know Nobody will be following me in my journey.

Obviously, this story is a little skewed. I do not in any way feel this way, this very second.

There is this disease running rampant. The plague of Nobody. I am sitting in a high spot, not high, maybe almost high, but being realistic about a crash coming soon. Explaining how "Nobody" runs wild throughout my thoughts is difficult. It is really hard on low/bad days to believe anybody is there. It is maddening trying to convince myself there is somebody, somewhere willing to just listen.

The disease of "Nobody" is extremely real. Not every day there is a worthless feeling. Not every day do I think there is no one loving me. Some days I think the whole world cannot get enough of what I have to offer. Other days I think everyone wishes I would crawl into a hole and vanish.

There is peace in the friendly text message, "I'm thinking of you." There is comfort in the friendly smile from the stranger at work. There is hope that someday "Nobody" and I will quit our friendship. One day, we will go our separate ways. I will find peace in knowing I beat "Nobody".

As of right now, there is no cure for the disease "Nobody" that plagues me with. There is no definite feel better drug, person, exercise, or tool that will ever take "Nobody" completely away.

All I know is, someday, I actually hope to acquire the disease I will call "Somebody".

Niece

So, I had a new niece born on October 4, 2011. She is beautiful. E.A was 8lbs, 4oz, and 20 in long. Such a big, sweet baby. My sister had some issues with her blood pressure, so they decided to take the baby a week early. We are extremely glad they did! She was born via c-section because my sister wasn't dialating very good and the Pitocin they had her on was making the baby's heart rate drop... But mom and baby are doing great. They came home on Thursday around 8:30pm. So glad they are home and both are doing great!

New Car

Well, I have been borrowing my sister's car for about 3 or 4 months. So I finally bought be a car this weekend, and it is exactly what I wanted, an 04 Ford Escape, except 1 thing... It's a stick shift. The problem with that?? I don't know how to drive a stick shift. So I have had driving lessons with my dad every night like I am 16 again. It's pretty fun. Just me and dad time with no interruptions, no fighting, and it just gives us time to talk, which if you have a big family like I do, you cherish every alone moment you get to have with your parents.