Depression

I found this on another blog and had to post it because it just seems to fit my life to a T

Let me introduce you to my best friend.

His/her name is Nobody. Nobody tends to always be there, reminding me He/She is there. Nobody really enjoys my company. He/She tags along with everything I do. It is really weird, Nobody knows my thoughts. It is like when I am having a bad day, Nobody knows instantaneously I need a shoulder to cry on. Nobody completely understands everything I deal with. When I am going through on of those days, Nobody just listens. Nobody is so great He/She will walk around the grocery store with me, just to get me out of the house. He/She absolutely loves following me around. Even when I do not want Nobody there, do not even fret...Nobody always finds His/Her way to my side. Nobody reminds me every day about the love He/She feels for me. Nobody wants to make sure I know there is something worth waking up to each day. Nobody is so sweet, He/She even sends me "Sweet dream" texts around bedtime. Every day, I know Nobody will be following me in my journey.

Obviously, this story is a little skewed. I do not in any way feel this way, this very second.

There is this disease running rampant. The plague of Nobody. I am sitting in a high spot, not high, maybe almost high, but being realistic about a crash coming soon. Explaining how "Nobody" runs wild throughout my thoughts is difficult. It is really hard on low/bad days to believe anybody is there. It is maddening trying to convince myself there is somebody, somewhere willing to just listen.

The disease of "Nobody" is extremely real. Not every day there is a worthless feeling. Not every day do I think there is no one loving me. Some days I think the whole world cannot get enough of what I have to offer. Other days I think everyone wishes I would crawl into a hole and vanish.

There is peace in the friendly text message, "I'm thinking of you." There is comfort in the friendly smile from the stranger at work. There is hope that someday "Nobody" and I will quit our friendship. One day, we will go our separate ways. I will find peace in knowing I beat "Nobody".

As of right now, there is no cure for the disease "Nobody" that plagues me with. There is no definite feel better drug, person, exercise, or tool that will ever take "Nobody" completely away.

All I know is, someday, I actually hope to acquire the disease I will call "Somebody".